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I’ve read your profile, and I think you sound nice…” …is way less engaging than this: “What!! Especially online, when women maybe a little more on-guard, opening with a comment on their physical appearance runs the risk of seeming shallow and off-putting.

Besides — if they really are that pretty they’re probably hearing that from every unoriginal guy on the site, and it Sometimes, misguided men will send out first messages that read like autobiographies.

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A message that reads: “Hello, nice to “meet” you, I’m John. You might think it’s flattering, but in general women don’t like to be approached like that.

I don’t smoke, but don’t mind if you do…Well, message me if you want to go out.” Messages like this are not only boring (if she wants to know about you she’ll either click on your profile or, even better, ask you), but they give no indication of why you want to go out with her. Try something like this instead: “Whoa, you studied abroad in Ghana? Once she laughs, she lets her guard-down a little, she thinks you’re funny, and probably smart. Did you ask her a question, did you set-up a joke she could build on?

Not that you have to turn into Seth Rogen all of the sudden, but in general, on the internet, humor is far less abrasive than, say, ardent fervor.

You take the randomness out of trying to meet people, hoping that fate will guide you to THAT ONE SPOT you need to be AT THAT VERY SPECIFIC TIME in order to meet that special someone.

If you have approach anxiety when it comes to meeting strangers in person, online dating gives you all the time you need to calm down and send that message.

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